Dane's Drunken Rant
When Frost Walrus defeated Sub-Zero in the Ice Age tournament, Dane Shobe went on a rant the likes of which is rarely seen: Yeeeaaaa... I mean, I like Frost Walrus as much as the next guy, but this is kinda gay. Sub-Zero is a legend. Frost Walrus is just another Mega Man ice jabroni. And barely even that. Ask someone about Frost Walrus. ASK someone. They won't know who the hell he is. They might know Ice Man. Some will know Chill Penguin. But Frost Walrus? In fact, let me be hoenst. Only reason I like Frost Walrus is cuz of the way that fucker says his name. That's it. So, good job guys. You eliminited a legend for someone that's only cool because of the way someone says his name. You know he's not that cool. Does he even have a backstory? Cuz I don't think he does. Yea, FROST WALRUS, has a lot of history. Sub-Zero? PAGES. PAGES, b'otch, of HISTORY. But that doesn't matter. We wanna be cute. We wanna vote for the obscure characters cuz we're happy to see them at the moment. But come on. Honestly. Do any of you REALLY like Frost Walrus? I mean, really. Do you REALLY like Frost Walrus mroe than Sub-Zero? Did he have any profound impact on your life aside from how that dude said his name? Cuz I know Sub-Zero is engraved in all your childhoods. What about Frost Walrus? You remember when Frost Walrus froze that guy in the middle of that banquet in the movie? Oh wait, you DON'T. Know why? Cuz they didn't make a damn Frost Walrus movie. But you know what they did make? A Mortal Kombat movie. That had Sub-Zero in it. Hell, they made TWO! One that was tight! And one that was NOT! But I BET you remember what Sub-Zero did in both of them. You know what? I bet even if they did make a Megaman X movie, Frost Walrus wouldn't be in it. He wouldn't! CHILL PENGUIN! If this was all about Chill Penguin, I wouldn't be as mad, but Fuck, a FROST, WALRUS! PEOPLE! FUCK'IM! Fuck all that. Stop voting for stupid. Vote for tight. Sub-Zero is tight. I hope you hate yourselves now. I'm drunk. Love you guys. /drunken rant. The following were responses to the above: Vic: Man, Dane is so awesome when he's drunk. That is all. Psycho Andy: It's a good thing I'm an impartial observer in this tournament, or I'd be as upset as Dané. Grimm: Hahahaha...I love Dane's logic, because it's the truth in its own dissonant, meandering way. I'm finding that people are choosing the cuter option, for some reason. Also, Dane drunk is indeed a thing of glory. Doom: I don't think either of these guys are cute. I just like Megaman X about 8000 times as much as I care about Mortal Kombat. Jimmy Nova: Sub Zero is a whiny little bitch. Grimm: You have all disgraced the good name of Sub-Zero. A pox on you all!!! Vic: I voted for Sub-Zero, man. I can't go and shun my childhood for some fuckin' walrus I've never heard of. Category:Vocabulary